i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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