So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize