I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
