I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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