Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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