also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
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Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
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This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference