i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.