so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
