He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Randomize