Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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