I never want to see another naked old woman again.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
