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thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
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