So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
