Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.

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  (407): I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on. http://tfl.nu/fzv2
  Replies (20) Good night (920) Bad night (3220)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral

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  (506): so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral http://tfl.nu/0vqu
  Replies (16) Good night (5907) Bad night (881)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.

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  (480): I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen. http://tfl.nu/7g0m
  Replies (51) Good night (9343) Bad night (715)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's

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  (214): things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's http://tfl.nu/bgm4
  Replies (35) Good night (1202) Bad night (4759)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....

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  (757): You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors.... http://tfl.nu/43xp
  Replies (4) Good night (3440) Bad night (1824)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?

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  (502): I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here? http://tfl.nu/c5kh
  Replies (6) Good night (2188) Bad night (731)
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  (707): View more from California

  I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA

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  (707): I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA http://tfl.nu/ppt3
  Replies (24) Good night (3046) Bad night (1349)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.

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  (301): no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue. http://tfl.nu/bg75
  Replies (4) Good night (1791) Bad night (778)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...

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  (786): It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries... http://tfl.nu/iebn
  Replies (11) Good night (1972) Bad night (670)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.

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  (512): If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok. http://tfl.nu/1awh
  Replies (10) Good night (2470) Bad night (660)
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  (585): View more from New York

  You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.

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  (585): You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett. http://tfl.nu/f5z3
  Replies (10) Good night (1386) Bad night (420)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke

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  (317): Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke http://tfl.nu/8yqx
  Replies (3) Good night (825) Bad night (609)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.

  (1-618): View more from Illinois

  Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!

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  (618): One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat. (1-618): Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research! http://tfl.nu/3g8w
  Replies (6) Good night (1445) Bad night (188)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.

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  (317): I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis. http://tfl.nu/cvxz
  Replies (5) Good night (527) Bad night (205)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell

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  (306): I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell http://tfl.nu/ue80
  Replies (8) Good night (604) Bad night (201)

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