Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out. (1-703): You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend. http://tfl.nu/y4qo
  Replies (24) Good night (5472) Bad night (1175)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat http://tfl.nu/os6y
  Replies (29) Good night (6961) Bad night (1475)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie. (443): im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile http://tfl.nu/7kar
  Replies (31) Good night (2390) Bad night (5549)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break. http://tfl.nu/ccu2
  Replies (7) Good night (1056) Bad night (3492)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days. http://tfl.nu/kqbj
  Replies (9) Good night (1581) Bad night (3355)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand... http://tfl.nu/rby4
  Replies (7) Good night (3398) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me... http://tfl.nu/2n11
  Replies (5) Good night (1144) Bad night (2477)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes. http://tfl.nu/1odp
  Replies (0) Good night (1533) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out http://tfl.nu/tdl5
  Replies (11) Good night (740) Bad night (1516)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero http://tfl.nu/upbm
  Replies (16) Good night (2599) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon. http://tfl.nu/2uoq
  Replies (8) Good night (566) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight http://tfl.nu/fm83
  Replies (7) Good night (1309) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars

  (770): View more from Georgia

  wait nvm its a dude

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars (770): wait nvm its a dude http://tfl.nu/bj4y
  Replies (0) Good night (514) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it. http://tfl.nu/8pyf
  Replies (1) Good night (483) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!? http://tfl.nu/0sun
  Replies (3) Good night (422) Bad night (531)

Randomize