Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.