She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
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I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
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dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."