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• (914): View more from New York

  I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.

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• (315): View more from New York

  She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.

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  These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women

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• (716): View more from New York

  He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE

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• (347): View more from New York

  When are you not under some influence?

  (917): View more from New York City

  Since last Tuesday...yesterday.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  oh but she would

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• (914): View more from New York

  Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck

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  25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  Paige is home safe.

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.

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