how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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