Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize