Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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