Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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