Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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