i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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