You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize