i don't like sucking hair
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
