but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Shame - the story of my life.
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