I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I will pee on everything he values.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
