Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
