You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.