are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him