your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize