I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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