Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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