so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
