Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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