I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
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Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
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It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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