Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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