nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
