i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize