Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
