I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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