dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize