..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My dick has a subreddit
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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