Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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