Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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