no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
