Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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