I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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