He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
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I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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