grinding to god bless the USA? really?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
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don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
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Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"