thus making me awesome and them whores
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.