my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it