it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.