Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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