It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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