Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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