I'm so fucking centered right now
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
