In the future we'll all be gay
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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